Took my long walk late. Ate my yams for breakfast, broke down and did have a great cup of coffee. My boyfriend makes it so well that I have a difficult time refusing.
It is Sunday, a day for rest yet I seem to feel guilt if I am not doing something so, I was on-line a lot and then read my girlfriend's script...now will be headed out (walking) to but something for dinner as I don't feel like making anything we have to eat in our fridge tonight for our dinner. Am getting really sick of Salmon and Chicken regardelss of all the different ways I know how to make these two things.
Waves of sadness hit me throughout the day...attribute that mainly to menopause which sucks!!!!
Looking forward to a later night business meeting and then a really important business meeting in the morning tomorrow so it's all good and then I get to meet with my dear, dear friend on Tuesday.
Stil looking for work...it's tough out there and I have a viable skill in nursing and it is still tough!!!!!
Anyway...just making my writing commitment for the evening.
For anyone following, Love and peace and blessings o you all for the upcoming week. Cheers!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Good afternoon all. I see I have one follower now and that would be myself!! Cool.
Anyway, made the committment to write at least something everyday so am doing just that...I woke at 1:15 pm this afternoon. I guess I needed the sleep but somehow feel horribly guilty about it...not that i had tons to do but sleeping in that late makes me feel "off" a bit. Anyway, went through the normal ritual of making coffee and getting on line...checking out my yahoo account, then Facebook and then Gmail.
I made three sales on my line scentfromabove through The Good Life Foundation and that made me feel good. It is a great product I have been using myself and decided to sell it. It is Earth friendly and environmentally friendly...the soaps smell great and are made of all natural products as are the body wahses and lotions...they lather up really well and just make you feel clean and fresh all over. Check it out and buy some if you can...they are not too expensive..infact, they are not expensive at all in comparrison to what you would buy at Macy's (where they are placed in L.A) or at some of the boutiques around where I have managed to get them into. The mark up makes them expensive. Either way, these products are quite worth it and proceeds from every sale go to various organizations to help folks who are less fortunate than many of us though I seem to be falling into that catagory myself as of late in not being able to find adequate work!!!!!
So, I woke and felt extreme guilt for having slept so long and made coffee and then read an e mail from my beautiful ex neighbor who is going to be my Vegan mentor. I read her blog "How to Bloom" and was blown away and wrote her and in writing to her some three or four more times made the decision that I too wanted to change my life. As I have said, I am fifty two now, have survived cancer, chemo and radiation three times and my poor body has been through it let me tell you. I am overweight and unconfortable and want what she has. So, I have committed to followong her direction whatever that may be when it is that we get together...one thing she told me is that I have to quit smoking. I did quit smoking almost a month ago..I had smoked from 12 to 37 and then quit and then started smoking again when I got cancer. How completely crazy is that? The I found I absolutely could not stop. However, I made a prayer one day and the obsession was lifted. Like that. Weird. I always wonder how things like that work. I have made prayers in other areas that simply do not seem to get answered though I am told that God hears and answers all prayers and I desperately want to believe that and have had proof enough to believe that is so but still, there remain quite a few prayers I have made that remain unanswered and I don't know why and I don't get it and whatever... guess it is just not meant to be. Still bothers me though as these prayers are to me ( ha ha) seemingly very important matters!!!!!
I have a wonderful, supportive, kind, loving and amazing boyfriend of many years who is just the best thing in the world and I love him dearly. He has stood by me through thick and thin, through all the ups and downs of my cancer and chemo, through all of the insanity of menopause and untreated alcoholism without the actual using part...just the head part...he is amazing. His friends and his family have adopted me as their own blood which makes me feel so good as I don't have any family anymore. My brother ripped my family off blind money wise and my sister then turned around and did the same thing but in an even more hurtful manner in that she made it so that I have not been able to see my two little neices in over two years now. I am not certain as to what she has told them happened to me if they ask...I mean, would she say that Auntie Carolyne just disapeared into thin air or moved to Egypt? I don't know. It is bizarre. My bad though as I had been warned time and time and time again not to be so trusting and I was and I am paying for it now. The whole point of all that though is that my eldest niece who is I believe 21 now and I do talk a lot and we are close and she is my immediate family and I love her and it makes me feel really good to have communiation with her. She is a special soul with the same warped sense of humor as myself...if anyone out there doesn't think that family is important, re think it and if there is any way to remedy whatever situation it is you might be in with your immediate family, it might be a good idea to try to mend as family is really important I feel. Thank God I have the family I do...Johnnie W. being one of the closest family members I have. He is the best.
So, I am now going to take my walk that i have committed to doing and then eat some yams which I love...then go and pick up my girlfriend and then go to the Sat night meeting and when I get home I am going to finsh up reading my girlfriend Eva-Marie's script which is actually very, very good and compelling.
If there is anyone out there following this blog...God Bless you as I really am kind of in the dark as to what I am doing and have no idea if any of it will be of any value to you. As I go along however I believe I will be able to make this thing make some sense and carry some sort of message to be able to help people along the way as that really is what I am best at doing. Bear with me guys. As I happen to be my onl;y follower at the moment, I will bear with myself and see what kind of message I have given myself fr the day. Until tomorow or later tonght...adios....
Anyway, made the committment to write at least something everyday so am doing just that...I woke at 1:15 pm this afternoon. I guess I needed the sleep but somehow feel horribly guilty about it...not that i had tons to do but sleeping in that late makes me feel "off" a bit. Anyway, went through the normal ritual of making coffee and getting on line...checking out my yahoo account, then Facebook and then Gmail.
I made three sales on my line scentfromabove through The Good Life Foundation and that made me feel good. It is a great product I have been using myself and decided to sell it. It is Earth friendly and environmentally friendly...the soaps smell great and are made of all natural products as are the body wahses and lotions...they lather up really well and just make you feel clean and fresh all over. Check it out and buy some if you can...they are not too expensive..infact, they are not expensive at all in comparrison to what you would buy at Macy's (where they are placed in L.A) or at some of the boutiques around where I have managed to get them into. The mark up makes them expensive. Either way, these products are quite worth it and proceeds from every sale go to various organizations to help folks who are less fortunate than many of us though I seem to be falling into that catagory myself as of late in not being able to find adequate work!!!!!
So, I woke and felt extreme guilt for having slept so long and made coffee and then read an e mail from my beautiful ex neighbor who is going to be my Vegan mentor. I read her blog "How to Bloom" and was blown away and wrote her and in writing to her some three or four more times made the decision that I too wanted to change my life. As I have said, I am fifty two now, have survived cancer, chemo and radiation three times and my poor body has been through it let me tell you. I am overweight and unconfortable and want what she has. So, I have committed to followong her direction whatever that may be when it is that we get together...one thing she told me is that I have to quit smoking. I did quit smoking almost a month ago..I had smoked from 12 to 37 and then quit and then started smoking again when I got cancer. How completely crazy is that? The I found I absolutely could not stop. However, I made a prayer one day and the obsession was lifted. Like that. Weird. I always wonder how things like that work. I have made prayers in other areas that simply do not seem to get answered though I am told that God hears and answers all prayers and I desperately want to believe that and have had proof enough to believe that is so but still, there remain quite a few prayers I have made that remain unanswered and I don't know why and I don't get it and whatever... guess it is just not meant to be. Still bothers me though as these prayers are to me ( ha ha) seemingly very important matters!!!!!
I have a wonderful, supportive, kind, loving and amazing boyfriend of many years who is just the best thing in the world and I love him dearly. He has stood by me through thick and thin, through all the ups and downs of my cancer and chemo, through all of the insanity of menopause and untreated alcoholism without the actual using part...just the head part...he is amazing. His friends and his family have adopted me as their own blood which makes me feel so good as I don't have any family anymore. My brother ripped my family off blind money wise and my sister then turned around and did the same thing but in an even more hurtful manner in that she made it so that I have not been able to see my two little neices in over two years now. I am not certain as to what she has told them happened to me if they ask...I mean, would she say that Auntie Carolyne just disapeared into thin air or moved to Egypt? I don't know. It is bizarre. My bad though as I had been warned time and time and time again not to be so trusting and I was and I am paying for it now. The whole point of all that though is that my eldest niece who is I believe 21 now and I do talk a lot and we are close and she is my immediate family and I love her and it makes me feel really good to have communiation with her. She is a special soul with the same warped sense of humor as myself...if anyone out there doesn't think that family is important, re think it and if there is any way to remedy whatever situation it is you might be in with your immediate family, it might be a good idea to try to mend as family is really important I feel. Thank God I have the family I do...Johnnie W. being one of the closest family members I have. He is the best.
So, I am now going to take my walk that i have committed to doing and then eat some yams which I love...then go and pick up my girlfriend and then go to the Sat night meeting and when I get home I am going to finsh up reading my girlfriend Eva-Marie's script which is actually very, very good and compelling.
If there is anyone out there following this blog...God Bless you as I really am kind of in the dark as to what I am doing and have no idea if any of it will be of any value to you. As I go along however I believe I will be able to make this thing make some sense and carry some sort of message to be able to help people along the way as that really is what I am best at doing. Bear with me guys. As I happen to be my onl;y follower at the moment, I will bear with myself and see what kind of message I have given myself fr the day. Until tomorow or later tonght...adios....
Friday, March 5, 2010
Good morning friends. Well, it is day one of my new life so to speak. It is 7:30 int he morning and I have a choice of making my usual coffee and then getting on line while drinking it or, taking a walk. I have opted to take a walk. It is beautiful out and I think I will be the healthier for it. There is a battle foing on in my head saying, "I'm tired and can sleep for another hour and a half but I have made this commitment and am going to stick to it to the best if my ability. Nothing changes if nothing changes!!!!
Today is shopping day and I am going to go to Trader Joe's and Whole foods and pick up some things I found on the blog How to Bloom and Yoke and I am going to start learning how to make, and eat them.
I want t lose twenty pounds which I have no idea where that came from and I'll do it!!!
So...will write later on in the day. My hope is to be writing that I am happily waking even earlier to get my walk in, stop coffee all together in time and enjoy these delicious looking meals my friend Ciera has so kindly offfered up in her blog.
Peace and blessings to you all..
Carolyne
Today is shopping day and I am going to go to Trader Joe's and Whole foods and pick up some things I found on the blog How to Bloom and Yoke and I am going to start learning how to make, and eat them.
I want t lose twenty pounds which I have no idea where that came from and I'll do it!!!
So...will write later on in the day. My hope is to be writing that I am happily waking even earlier to get my walk in, stop coffee all together in time and enjoy these delicious looking meals my friend Ciera has so kindly offfered up in her blog.
Peace and blessings to you all..
Carolyne
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Welcome all to my new blog and thank you for taking the time to read it. I have been inspired by a dear friend to start a blog of my own so I am doing just that.
I have made a firm decision to change many parts of my life.
Losing weight, getting more exercise, eating a much more healthy diet are just a few of the challenges I have decided to undertake.
My idea has been to use this blog as a sort of diary...a before and after type deal. I have decided that I will write my thoughts daily as well as my progress and am hoping that if I get any followers that they too might be inspired to do as I am doing. Can't hurt right?
Just to give you a small back story about myself, well, let's see.
Okay, I am fifty-two years old as of January 29th of this year and feel the healthiest I have in quite sometime. I had breast cancer twice, once in 2003 and then again in 2005 and was fortunate enough to survive both due to early detection and also a double mastectomy. The cancer itself was not so bad but the chemo and radiation were and if I had the choice now to do things differently, I would. I then was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2007 and went through a radical hysterectomy. I have just now started to get back into the work force but it was a good seven years that I did not work and that is an awfully long time!!!! The chemo sent me into a full premature menopause which was really awful and there was nothing I could take medicinally to hel and the herbs offered did not help so I suffered quite a bit. Will write more about all that at a later time.
I am a medical assistant as of 1997...had been an LVN but let my license laps for various reasons. I am in recovery now for some years and follow the program of AA.
I am bright, talented (do a lot of phototgraphy and digital art work which involves collage making on the computer with the pictures I take or pictures that people send me), I am in the process of editing a book tht my boyfriend (who is a Grammy award winning record producer) is writing and am also a write myself as well a a songwriter with two songs published. I was a ballerina most of my younger life and an actress and graduate of The American Academy of Dramatic Arts and am now starting to pursue theater work again. I am really excited to be starting this new journey and welcome any comments anyone might have along the way.
Peace to you all.
I have made a firm decision to change many parts of my life.
Losing weight, getting more exercise, eating a much more healthy diet are just a few of the challenges I have decided to undertake.
My idea has been to use this blog as a sort of diary...a before and after type deal. I have decided that I will write my thoughts daily as well as my progress and am hoping that if I get any followers that they too might be inspired to do as I am doing. Can't hurt right?
Just to give you a small back story about myself, well, let's see.
Okay, I am fifty-two years old as of January 29th of this year and feel the healthiest I have in quite sometime. I had breast cancer twice, once in 2003 and then again in 2005 and was fortunate enough to survive both due to early detection and also a double mastectomy. The cancer itself was not so bad but the chemo and radiation were and if I had the choice now to do things differently, I would. I then was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2007 and went through a radical hysterectomy. I have just now started to get back into the work force but it was a good seven years that I did not work and that is an awfully long time!!!! The chemo sent me into a full premature menopause which was really awful and there was nothing I could take medicinally to hel and the herbs offered did not help so I suffered quite a bit. Will write more about all that at a later time.
I am a medical assistant as of 1997...had been an LVN but let my license laps for various reasons. I am in recovery now for some years and follow the program of AA.
I am bright, talented (do a lot of phototgraphy and digital art work which involves collage making on the computer with the pictures I take or pictures that people send me), I am in the process of editing a book tht my boyfriend (who is a Grammy award winning record producer) is writing and am also a write myself as well a a songwriter with two songs published. I was a ballerina most of my younger life and an actress and graduate of The American Academy of Dramatic Arts and am now starting to pursue theater work again. I am really excited to be starting this new journey and welcome any comments anyone might have along the way.
Peace to you all.
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